Comments on: The importance of asking people questions http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/ Tue, 22 May 2012 11:04:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Sharing When Uncool http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-5742 Sharing When Uncool Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:10:12 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-5742 Sir: Agreed--although one arguably has a significantly greater probability of connecting with Bruce Kovner, for example, by discussing his interest in rare books (Caxton the printer) rather than interest rates (Caxton the hedge fund)--<br><br>For those not opportunely sitting next to you (or others similarly well established in their respective fields) at dinner, how do you prefer for an interaction with you to be initiated (particularly when the questioner does not yet have the wherewithal to add value to your endeavors, whether professional or personal)? Thanks! Sir: Agreed–although one arguably has a significantly greater probability of connecting with Bruce Kovner, for example, by discussing his interest in rare books (Caxton the printer) rather than interest rates (Caxton the hedge fund)–

For those not opportunely sitting next to you (or others similarly well established in their respective fields) at dinner, how do you prefer for an interaction with you to be initiated (particularly when the questioner does not yet have the wherewithal to add value to your endeavors, whether professional or personal)? Thanks!

]]> By: Sharing When Uncool http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-4488 Sharing When Uncool Thu, 29 Oct 2009 16:10:12 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-4488 Sir: Agreed--although one arguably has a significantly greater probability of connecting with Bruce Kovner, for example, by discussing his interest in rare books (Caxton the printer) rather than interest rates (Caxton the hedge fund)--<br><br>For those not opportunely sitting next to you (or others similarly well established in their respective fields) at dinner, how do you prefer for an interaction with you to be initiated (particularly when the questioner does not yet have the wherewithal to add value to your endeavors, whether professional or personal)? Thanks! Sir: Agreed–although one arguably has a significantly greater probability of connecting with Bruce Kovner, for example, by discussing his interest in rare books (Caxton the printer) rather than interest rates (Caxton the hedge fund)–

For those not opportunely sitting next to you (or others similarly well established in their respective fields) at dinner, how do you prefer for an interaction with you to be initiated (particularly when the questioner does not yet have the wherewithal to add value to your endeavors, whether professional or personal)? Thanks!

]]> By: The importance of asking people questions | Igniting Startups - nPost http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-4042 The importance of asking people questions | Igniting Startups - nPost Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:22:43 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-4042 [...] From cdixon.org [...] [...] From cdixon.org [...]

]]> By: best business health products online buy natural (8).wmv | Health Source http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3834 best business health products online buy natural (8).wmv | Health Source Thu, 08 Oct 2009 02:20:52 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3834 [...] Ask people questions (cdixon.org) [...] [...] Ask people questions (cdixon.org) [...]

]]> By: aweissman http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3830 aweissman Wed, 07 Oct 2009 13:55:36 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3830 Yup lifted directly from the Black Swan serendipity concept Yup lifted directly from the Black Swan serendipity concept

]]> By: Ryan McKillen http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3815 Ryan McKillen Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:41:39 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3815 Re: your #2, I often find myself playing this game. Thinking, "At some point, he/she has to take a breath and ask me a question, right?" Never ceases to amazing.<br><br>And the people who really kill me: "I've gotta get going. I feel bad we didn't have a chance to catch up on what you're up to. Next time for sure." But "next time" is never any different—still all about them.<br><br>It's a real shame. People miss out on so much! Re: your #2, I often find myself playing this game. Thinking, “At some point, he/she has to take a breath and ask me a question, right?” Never ceases to amazing.

And the people who really kill me: “I've gotta get going. I feel bad we didn't have a chance to catch up on what you're up to. Next time for sure.” But “next time” is never any different—still all about them.

It's a real shame. People miss out on so much!

]]> By: ShanaC http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3814 ShanaC Tue, 06 Oct 2009 23:47:56 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3814 I find out all sorts of useful information this way. (Such as there are still a lot of people out there made nervous by the idea of their cell phone making random calls). I tend to like listening and asking questions. It helps to feel like you have a prepared script.<br><br>Oddly, something I find out with myself and others- you tend to talk more when you are nervous. Get a list of things you want to talk about, and ask questions about it- it makes both you and the other person feel good. And it makes you feel less nervous too. It really could be anything. Just ask some questions. Even if it is about something you think could be boring. I'm sure your dinner party partner could turn it into something interesting.<br><br>(And you learn stuff along the way) I find out all sorts of useful information this way. (Such as there are still a lot of people out there made nervous by the idea of their cell phone making random calls). I tend to like listening and asking questions. It helps to feel like you have a prepared script.

Oddly, something I find out with myself and others- you tend to talk more when you are nervous. Get a list of things you want to talk about, and ask questions about it- it makes both you and the other person feel good. And it makes you feel less nervous too. It really could be anything. Just ask some questions. Even if it is about something you think could be boring. I'm sure your dinner party partner could turn it into something interesting.

(And you learn stuff along the way)

]]> By: chris dixon http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3813 chris dixon Tue, 06 Oct 2009 22:29:22 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3813 Yes, I think it's best to speak just enough to introduce yourself etc but after that you gain more by listening than talking. Yes, I think it's best to speak just enough to introduce yourself etc but after that you gain more by listening than talking.

]]> By: chris dixon http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3812 chris dixon Tue, 06 Oct 2009 22:28:52 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3812 I think Andy Weismann's quote is meant to be very Black Swan. I think Andy Weismann's quote is meant to be very Black Swan.

]]> By: chris dixon http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3811 chris dixon Tue, 06 Oct 2009 22:28:20 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3811 I'm often surprised as well. I'm often surprised as well.

]]> By: DanReich http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3807 DanReich Tue, 06 Oct 2009 19:49:38 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3807 Very wise words. I met my current CEO this way (questions via encounter at a ski resort), who introduced me to Andy W, who enlightened me with these words as well. Funny the way it all works.<br><br>Also goes along these lines..“You cannot plan innovation. You cannot plan invention. All you can do is try very hard to be at the right place and be ready” -Eric Schmidt’s Keynote Speech, Carnegie Mellon Graduation 2009 Very wise words. I met my current CEO this way (questions via encounter at a ski resort), who introduced me to Andy W, who enlightened me with these words as well. Funny the way it all works.

Also goes along these lines..“You cannot plan innovation. You cannot plan invention. All you can do is try very hard to be at the right place and be ready” -Eric Schmidt’s Keynote Speech, Carnegie Mellon Graduation 2009

]]> By: clarke thomas http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3802 clarke thomas Tue, 06 Oct 2009 16:00:22 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3802 I find it's always better to listen the most & speak minimally. Unless I'm asked a question I don't tend to speak up. It's always more interesting to hear from others who may/not be the foremost expert on whatever. It's also a great way to weed out the BS'ers. I find it's always better to listen the most & speak minimally. Unless I'm asked a question I don't tend to speak up. It's always more interesting to hear from others who may/not be the foremost expert on whatever. It's also a great way to weed out the BS'ers.

]]> By: alexjmann http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3800 alexjmann Tue, 06 Oct 2009 15:02:59 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3800 This was essentially the main theme I took away from Taleb's "The Black Swan," which is seek out serendipity in both business and social circles, because the random outcomes can roll in your favor. I can think of a few instances where the questions I've asked to strangers have allowed me to progress in some fashion.<br><br>"In Black Swan terms, this means that you are exposed to the improbable only if you let it control you. You always control what you do; so make this your end." This was essentially the main theme I took away from Taleb's “The Black Swan,” which is seek out serendipity in both business and social circles, because the random outcomes can roll in your favor. I can think of a few instances where the questions I've asked to strangers have allowed me to progress in some fashion.

“In Black Swan terms, this means that you are exposed to the improbable only if you let it control you. You always control what you do; so make this your end.”

]]> By: reecepacheco http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3797 reecepacheco Tue, 06 Oct 2009 12:52:08 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3797 Great point, Chris. So important. My co-founders sometimes roll their eyes when I start to play the "name game" or make small talk about hometowns when meeting people, but once I do make a connection, it proves invaluable in furthering the conversation/relationship. Great point, Chris. So important. My co-founders sometimes roll their eyes when I start to play the “name game” or make small talk about hometowns when meeting people, but once I do make a connection, it proves invaluable in furthering the conversation/relationship.

]]> By: graysky http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3796 graysky Tue, 06 Oct 2009 12:47:15 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3796 Very true. This is often a signal when I meet new people about how much I will like them; are they are curious about other people? Always surprising to me how many people don't really do this when meeting new people... Very true. This is often a signal when I meet new people about how much I will like them; are they are curious about other people? Always surprising to me how many people don't really do this when meeting new people…

]]> By: Anne Johnson http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3795 Anne Johnson Tue, 06 Oct 2009 12:32:22 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3795 Cultural tolerance for asking people questions varies .. In the UK it is almost always acceptable to open a conversation with a remark about the weather, current or anticipated. Though an acquaintance once said to me "You'd talk to people on trains !" Cultural tolerance for asking people questions varies .. In the UK it is almost always acceptable to open a conversation with a remark about the weather, current or anticipated. Though an acquaintance once said to me “You'd talk to people on trains !”

]]> By: chris dixon http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3794 chris dixon Tue, 06 Oct 2009 12:30:46 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3794 Much better to err on your extreme versus the other. Much better to err on your extreme versus the other.

]]> By: Daniel Tunkelang http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3793 Daniel Tunkelang Tue, 06 Oct 2009 12:29:15 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3793 I guess I err at the other extreme--I would have looked you up on Google / LinkedIn when you weren't looking and then asked you leading questions. Perhaps there's a happy medium between narcissism and cyber-stalking. :-) I guess I err at the other extreme–I would have looked you up on Google / LinkedIn when you weren't looking and then asked you leading questions. Perhaps there's a happy medium between narcissism and cyber-stalking. :-)

]]> By: chris dixon http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3792 chris dixon Tue, 06 Oct 2009 12:28:20 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3792 Absolutely. I'm always surprised when people haven't even done a basic Google search. If you are meeting someone with a startup, it's also nice to learn about it and maybe even try to give some feedback / say something insightful. Absolutely. I'm always surprised when people haven't even done a basic Google search. If you are meeting someone with a startup, it's also nice to learn about it and maybe even try to give some feedback / say something insightful.

]]> By: Alan Pritt http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3791 Alan Pritt Tue, 06 Oct 2009 12:26:03 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3791 If possible I like to do my homework too. If I know in advance who I'm meeting I'll try to research what they do and what their interests are. It improves the quality of the questions I ask when we subsequently meet. If possible I like to do my homework too. If I know in advance who I'm meeting I'll try to research what they do and what their interests are. It improves the quality of the questions I ask when we subsequently meet.

]]> By: Elie Seidman http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3788 Elie Seidman Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:43:21 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3788 asking people questions about themselves gives them the opportunity to talk about their favorite subject... asking people questions about themselves gives them the opportunity to talk about their favorite subject…

]]> By: Elie Seidman http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3789 Elie Seidman Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:43:21 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3789 asking people questions about themselves gives them the opportunity to talk about their favorite subject... asking people questions about themselves gives them the opportunity to talk about their favorite subject…

]]> By: chris dixon http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3787 chris dixon Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:19:47 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3787 Agree. I think if you leave, say, a lunch meeting not knowing basics about what the person does for a living, what they did in the past, where they live, a bit about their personal life, where they grew up, what they think is interesting, etc you didn't ask enough questions. Agree. I think if you leave, say, a lunch meeting not knowing basics about what the person does for a living, what they did in the past, where they live, a bit about their personal life, where they grew up, what they think is interesting, etc you didn't ask enough questions.

]]> By: chris dixon http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3786 chris dixon Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:17:23 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3786 1) i find talking about myself kind of boring<br>2) i kept expecting him to ask me what I did and at some point it because kind of interesting to see if he could really fill up 2 hrs talking about himself. besides, at that point I wasn't really in the mood to help the guy out. 1) i find talking about myself kind of boring
2) i kept expecting him to ask me what I did and at some point it because kind of interesting to see if he could really fill up 2 hrs talking about himself. besides, at that point I wasn't really in the mood to help the guy out.

]]> By: ceonyc http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3785 ceonyc Tue, 06 Oct 2009 09:55:36 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3785 +1 I'm really disappointed with how little most of my friends know about the people they spend their time with... and also how out of the ordinary people seem to think it is when I ask questions about why they do what they do, how their job works, etc. +1 I'm really disappointed with how little most of my friends know about the people they spend their time with… and also how out of the ordinary people seem to think it is when I ask questions about why they do what they do, how their job works, etc.

]]> By: adrianbye http://cdixon.org/2009/10/06/ask-people-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-3784 adrianbye Tue, 06 Oct 2009 09:54:13 +0000 http://www.cdixon.org/?p=1359#comment-3784 Why didn't you mention you worked in VC? Why didn't you mention you worked in VC?

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