Big timing

“Big timing” is a phrase I’ve heard a lot lately which refers to people who are “higher ranking” acting disrespectfully toward people who are “lower ranking”. Example usage: “so and so VC partner big timed my associate,” meaning they talked down to him/her or didn’t meet with him/her or whatever.

Big timing is a huge mistake. Why? 1) big timers vastly underestimate the degree to which senior people trust their junior people, 2) most non-jerks (no matter how successful) interpret big timing to be an insult to their firm and therefore to their senior people, 3) junior people are often far more active and informed than senior people and therefore great people to spend time with.

It would be great to think that in the startup industry, people would realize that today’s junior person could become “big time” tomorrow, and that you should therefore be meritocratic and respectful to everyone. But that’s not my experience.

http://twitter.com/kevindway Kevin Way

Also, today’s up and comer is tomorrow’s big kahuna.

Why burn a bridge?

http://www.cdixon.org chris dixon

Hey, I agree. When I was 20, a mentor of mine said be nice to everyone. He would always chat with the security guard and everyone else who others would ignore. He told me it was part of being a good person but also good business. And he was right. When I was in VC I saw deals killed because the assistants were mistreated by the entrepreneurs. And entrepreneurs vastly underestimated how much influence we (associates) had over the decision making process.

http://twitter.com/elicolner Eli Colner

eh. i think the definition of being a good person is doing things for others, devoid of self interests. being kind as a rule becomes insincere and petty if it’s done to increase ones perceived kindness, especially when done for no other reason than to appease the other person of lower status. i’d rather be a real d***hole than a fake kissa$$.

http://www.cdixon.org chris dixon

well the best people do it just to be decent people. and I think that was true of my friend/mentor. but i’m just trying to argue here that even if you don’t care about ethics it is in your interest.

http://twitter.com/elicolner Eli Colner

is it unethical to be unkind to someone? hate is unethical. social faux pas is something entirely different imo.

http://www.cdixon.org chris dixon

well, unethical comes in degrees.

http://twitter.com/elicolner Eli Colner

agreed

http://InnerTeub.com/ LizScott

When I had control of the inbox of a big partner/decision maker (when I was just starting out), the people who gave me consideration -versus those who ignored the young kid at the desk [if not just acting outright rude and dismissive]) got my respect and attention … and that filtered up. Forget the ethics of being nice – it was smart of them to realize that I had access to the person they needed (my boss), and I respected that.

http://twitter.com/kevindway Kevin Way

Smart mentor.

I’ve never seen good come from “big-timing” somebody, and I’ve seen countless examples of bad.

http://twitter.com/MarkHall123 Mark Hall

Well stated. Despite any amount of wealth, success or social rank, we are deserving of equal respect. It’s unfortunate that this post was required at all, but I guess that is just how things go.
http://muneeb.org Muneeb Ali

It’s hard to imagine hackers “big timing” anyone, no? Seems more like a sales/marketing/management/VC thing.

http://www.cdixon.org chris dixon

agree. hackers in my experience almost never do it.

http://millikandaily.com Arikia Millikan

Seeing it more with hackers who are mentored/being courted (in the business sense) by self-titled Big Timers.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=578087961 Joe Beninato

I always tell founders that VC assistants are an incredibly important aspect of getting funded, and they should go out of their way to thank them and be nice.
http://twitter.com/moatazr Moataz Rashad

great post. and i agree as an engineer i don’t think we’re ever guilty of it. do you consider it big timing though if as an entrepreneur you prioritize mtgs based on the seniority of the person at the firm? say you have 5 mtgs that week, and you can only take 4, so you push out the one mtg with the junior person.
http://lukehristou.com/ Luke Hristou

I think it also speaks to the fact that nobody ever wants to listen or ask questions to those that haven’t yet “made it” or are “validated.”

I’ve always operated under the thinking that if you are open to learn from everyone, kid through adult you will have a much greater perspective on everything business or non-business. I always wonder why more people don’t try to reach out to those in similar positions as themselves. People with similar interests and ambitions who are no higher up on the ladder then them. Because if you can recognize the ones similar to yourself and you’re betting on yourself…in the long run those relationships will serve invaluable.
http://www.alearningaday.com Rohan

An older and wiser friend once said..

Make no mistake. It’s only the constant tension between youth and experience that makes human progress possible..
Anonymous

I think this is as much a defense mechanism as anything – something that kicks in when a senior level person is threatened in their job, their deal, or their status quo. The human condition is to make known the flaws in others to disguise one’s own flaws.

Behavior like big timing is something that needs to be actively combatted with compassion – a general desire to see your fellow humans succeed. If you see others as opportunities for kindness, encouragement and altruism, then you’ll never have to worry about your baser “Big Timing” mechanism kicking in.
http://hdemott.wordpress.com Harry DeMott

Here’s a perfect example:

When I was at a hedge fund we were looking to invest in National cinemedia on its IPO – the deal was hot and allocations were scarce.

the book runner on the deal was Credit Suisse where I had worked for 10 years – so I called the syndicate desk and asked who was running the deal (i.e. who was going to make allocations) and I was told AK

AK? Last I saw him he was an analyst who I had worked on a ton of deals with. Lowest guy on the totem pole – yet I always treated him well – even if I didn’t have to.

Needless to say AK was now an MD, running deals on his own, and remembered our interactions although we hadn’t spoken in 8 years. Needless to say, I got what I wanted – and he got some good avdvce on pricing (which these guys never do as there is always some motivation not to tell the truth)

Investing – whether it is in public markets – or in the VC world – is a small insular world.

http://www.victusspiritus.com/ Mark Essel

Respect Harry, you gave and received. Good on you, of course I expected nothing less. Stay classy.

Nothing makes me angrier than seeing authority abused. We’re all transient voices here and gone in a flash. We grow, learn, suffer, and experience joy. Why not treat folks around us as we wish to be treated.

Preston Pesek

Posturing like this is typically a clear indication of a weak leader, someone who must resort to artificial self aggrandizement in the absence of substantive talent.
http://twitter.com/bje781 Brian Erickson

definitely agree with this. nice post.
http://michaelpmccormick.com/ Mike McCormick

Interesting observation. Definitely too bad when ego and insecurity manifest as lack of respect.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=670421567 Jonathan Schreiber

How about just to treat people as people and be decent about it. No agenda, no ego, just humanity. ALL entrepreneurs have struggled. We have had good times and bad. We should all respect the process, no matter where we currently are on the ladder.
Alexander Close

Cue real world examples, they seem to be everywhere.

Yet with so many stories of kindness paying off, along with the frictionless word-of-mouth spread that internet connectivity has provided, you’d think the “big-timer” ethos would slowly evolve.

I guess common sense isn’t all that common.
http://www.ryandb.com/ Ryan Berryman

I think big timers trade long term relationships for short term self-esteem – frequently using their title, degree, lineage, wallet, or year of birth as a calling card. It may make sense for those with plenty of quality relationships or a shortage of self esteem.
http://sisyph.us/ ErikSchwartz

Associates have the power to do one thing. They are empowered to say “No” and to pass. Why would you diss someone who can’t say yes and can only shut you down?
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Chris Dixon